Blog #6

Y Memoir Y

"Hello?"
"Hi Grandma, Its Erica"
"Oh hello Erica, how nice of you to call, how are you?"
"Im good grandma, I was just calling to let you know that I will stop over this weekend for lunch"
"Aw, that sounds great Erica, "

"Ok then I will see you friday. I love you grandma, and tell grandpa that I love him too"

"I will Erica, we love you too"

I know that I am privledged to have atleast 2 grandparents that are still apart of my life and after loosing my other 2 Ive learned to appreciate them more than ever. If Ive learned anything so far in life its that you should always remember to let the people that you love the most know every once in a while how important they are to you. I guess what I am trying to say is just treat every day as if it were Valentine's Day.

Its funny how there are those random things you remember from your childhood. Sometimes I cant even remember what I did last weekend but for some odd reason I can remember the burnt orange rug I sprawled out on at my great-grandmothers house when I would watch Barney and I remember going to the movie theatre for the very first time to see Beauty and the Beast, and how scared I was of that Beast. There is one memory in particular that will always be in my memory bank, vivid as ever.

It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm outside but especially beautiful because it was Valentines Day. I have loved Valentines Day since I was a little girl. . I loved the idea that it was a day to just say how much you loved everything. I would walk around to my dog Buffy and say, “Buffy, I love you” and then Id move on to my bear and say “Bella, I love you.” My mother and I made heart shaped cookies and the house smelt of fresh roses that my father gave my mother earlier that morning. We received small baskets with chocolates and a Valentines Day card and my sister and I presented our computer paper cards with crayon scribbles to our parents as well.

Around evening time, the phone rang and my mother answered it as she always did with this happy-go-lucky tone but then instead of hearing a loud and energetic tone I heard soft mumbles for awhile. My mother called me upstairs and sat me down on her bed, high enough that I had to really jump up to get on, and kneeled in front of me. She placed her hands on my legs and said “Erica, I am so sorry to tell you this but Grandma Irene passed away today. She’s gone”. I felt like I couldn’t swallow, the room seemed so small and I remember getting mad. I was so mad I pushed my mom away from me and ran to my room hysterical. When I got to my room I went right to my window and looked outside as I cried. Till this day whenever I get really upset and have to cry I go to my window and look outside. I don’t know why but for some reason it always comforts me.

My grandmother Irene was like a second mother to me. When my mother was pregnant with my little sister I stayed with my grandmother every day and after my mother gave birth she was horribly sick for 3 months after so those months I stayed with her as well. There was no place I would have rather been than at her house helping her clean and singing songs with her. She is the reason I am such a neat freak because she always took pride in what she had and took great care of it. She always knew how to make me smile and she would take me to the park whenever I went over and we would hold hands talking about everything and anything. The few months before she passed she was diagnosed with lung cancer and had to have a tube up her nose and had to carry around an oxygen tank. I hated that. It made me cry every time I saw it. When she went into the hospital I would make my mom take me everyday and I remember the time when I brought in nail polish and I painted her nails for her and I also painted the nails of the lady next to her, whose name was Mary.

At the wake I was horrible. I remember that room so vivid and as I saw her body I ran as fast as I could towards her and threw my body onto her. My mother and father had to pry me off and they decided that I had to be taken home and not be there anymore. I was screaming and crying and I remember not being able to go to the cemetery.

Looking back, I can still hear her Hungarian accent, accenting the C in Erica every time she called my name. I can still smell the peanut butter cookies we made and the smell of the pledge we used to clean all of her furniture. I remember her smell and how comforting her hugs were. I am 21 years old now and I have never touched a cigarette. I told myself I would never smoke because it was what killed my grandmother and it’s a promise to me that I will always keep for her. I look back on this and I could cry write now but I am also so happy that I was so upset for someone in my life because it meant that I was blessed with someone so special in my life. On Valentines Day I try to be happy but deep down it always brings me back to that day 14 years ago. I now see Valentines Day as not just a day to tell who and what you love the most that you love them but a day to embrace the things and people you once loved as well.